The original reads:
Faster than I thought possible, he grabs me, gives me a proprietary embrace and a toe-curling kiss.
But the translation engine thinks that "a toe-curling kiss" means that someone is kissing you "with his toes":
Schneller, als ich es für möglich gehalten hätte, packt er mich, umarmt mich und küsst mich mit den Zehen.
Or this, where "Neither do I" [say anything] becomes "I don't know either".
He says nothing. Neither do I.
Ich weiß es auch nicht.
I could go on, but I just wanted to wish all clients and friends of Witinall Language Services
A LOVELY SUMMER HOLIDAY!
Make sure you spend a day or two outside to relax and have fun!
And if you're working and need some help with German or English transcriptions or translations, just call or write to me at my office any time. I look forward to hearing from you.